After reading about last year's Whole Hog dinner, I was bound and determined that I would not miss it. I joined the Oliveto e-mail list and waited. As soon as the notification about this year's menu was sent out, I pounced on a reservation. Two members of Date Night would be dining at Whole Hog at 8:30pm on Thursday the 8th with another two of our friends (another DNer would arrive later that night with her own party).
We were all together on the menu negotations - we were all prepared to share, we all wanted to try the salumi, we all were interested in the pastas, and we all knew we had to save room for dessert.
Our first course was a platter of dry-cured salumi and another platter of "potted and formed" meats. Each platter was for two people, so we divided up the slices of meat in order to each get a taste. Heather and I took a piece between us and our two friends shared the other one. We promptly forgot all the names of the different meats, but we can definitely say that they were all good shit. Midway through I realized that half-slices of meat were piling up on my plate and that I have fallen behind. Our two friends began to taunt me for being too slow and Heather urged me to eat faster so we didn't "lose."
That's when Whole Hog dinner became a contest of Team Date Night vs. Team ??? Heather and I had decided to call them Team Corporate since one is a lawyer and the other is a law student. But they chose to pay homage to the awesomest law firm name I've ever heard: Paine and Fears, apparently the two actual names of the firm's partners.
My competitive instinct began to kick in and I was determined to win the pasta round. I might be the slower eater on our team, but I'm clearly the more competitively driven. I popped the gnocchi del Cosentino with little pork meatballs into my mouth - the gnocchi and the meatballs were approximately the same spherical size and were divine. The gnocchi was denser than I expected but still tender. I absolutely adore stuffed pastas and the triangoli of pork shoulder "cooked around the clock" did not disappoint. The pasta was delicate but the filling hearty. I did slow down a little once I got to the spaghettini fritti with pork heart and wild mushroom ragu but that was because I never got a new knife to cut up the spaghettini (I don't think our harried server knew we were locked in a fierce battle or I think he would have brought me one in the interest of fairness). The most refreshing dish was the fregule with pork shoulder braised with Meyer lemon, taggiasca olives, and pine nuts - we all ate bites of this between the other pastas. Team Date Night held its own this round, so in a moment of hubris, I agreed to polish off what was left of a couple of the pastas. A mistake...
because the pasta comeback did not last, and Team Date Night began to shut down in the entree round. Part of this was due to a lack of excitement over these dishes. The zampone braised in saba, which was a deboned pig's trotter stuffed with sausage, arrived with the knuckles & hoof on the platter, and this sight began to disturb Heather. We both were disappointed by the sausage filling and I personally felt the skin was gluey. We also felt that the thin slices of spit-roasted Oliveto pork rib loin "ham" didn't pair well with the marsala sauce on top; plus the ham was overly chewy. However much Team Paine and Fears agreed with our assessment of the entrees, they still polished off their portions and Heather and I had to admit our full responsibility for our defeat. We revived briefly when our Date Night compatriot paid us a visit and brought over the amazingly delicious potatoes cooked in pork fat. But Team Paine and Fears had won.
They went on to dominate dessert as well. Out of all the dessert options, we had to go with the three involving pork products: the bacon apple charlotte with crème fraiche and quince syrup, the almond pithivier with malted chocolate and bacon fat ice cream (!), and a seville orange custard pie with lard crust. I loved the custard pie. I need to work with lard sometime. Mmm lard. We also loved the charlotte, and the bacon fat ice cream worked surprisingly well.
Even though Team Date Night got schooled by the lawyers, we had a great time at Oliveto's Whole Hog Dinner - an experience not to be missed. We congratulate Team Paine and Fears, and we welcome a rematch in the future. I woke up this morning still full.
